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Dors-ee's

Welcome To Dors-ee's!

No dorses were harmed in the making of this video. Several were mildly inconvenienced. Trouble playing? Watch it on Wistia.

Brand New!

The Billbored Jenaraytur

Make your very own Dors-ee's roadside billboard. Countdown signs, wild promises, unreasonable fine print.

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Always
Open**We lost the keys in '87.

Dors-ee Dew. It's “Good For You.”*

*It is not, in fact, good for you. We don't really know what it is. It glows a little.

Dors-ee Dew can splashing out of green soda Grab A Can

Subprime Brisket On The Board*

*may contain dorse.

Subprime brisket sandwich on a sesame bun See The Board

Bathrooms So Big You Can Get Lost In Them.*

*Dors-ee's is not responsible for any Backrooms-like disappearances. Search parties depart hourly.

An endless yellow-tiled restroom stretching to the horizon Find The Exit

Dorse Morsels? More Like Of Coursels.*

*You can't eat just one. You are legally required to eat the whole bag, or else Dors-ee will come for you.

A pile of golden caramel Dorse Morsels Watch The Morsels

Dew Refill Card

Unlimited Dors-ee Dew refills. Limited explanation of what's in it.

Fuel Types

Regular and Premium Dorsal fuel available.

Find A Dorse Wash

Soap, wax, shine, and a gentle brushing of the mane. Visit our washes today.
Dors-ee, a grinning green horse in a red cap

About Dors-ee's

Ever since our founding in 1982 (give or take; the paperwork is somewhere in the restroom), Dors-ee's has been committed to a clean, friendly, and suspiciously well-stocked experience. Big store or small, near or far, the mission stays the same: get you in, feed you something dorse-adjacent, and get you back on the road before you start asking questions.

We've got the jerky. We've got the morsels. We've got a soda the state has asked us to stop describing. And we've got a statue out front that you are absolutely not allowed to take a selfie with unless you buy something.

The Snack Aisle

Every bag, can, and strip is hand-inspected by a guy named Gary. Gary has no formal training.

Hot and Spicy Dorse Jerky package

Hot & Spicy Dorse Jerky

Made from solid strips of dorse. It's got real bits of dorse in it, so you know it's good.

10g protein. 0g explanations.
Dorse Morsels package

Dorse Morsels

Golden, caramel-coated, and legally binding. Finish the bag.

Dors-ee will know.
Dors-ee Dew can

Dors-ee Dew

A bright green beverage of undisclosed origin. Refreshing in a way that's hard to describe in court.

Not good for you.
Shelves stocked with Dorse 'n Dorse potato chips

Dorse 'n Dorse Chips

The classic flavor combo: dorse, and also dorse. Now in a family-size bag.

Crunchy-ish.
Green chili peanut bags on retail shelves

Green Chili Peanuts

A roadside staple with a kick. Pairs beautifully with a 40-oz Dew.

Contains peanuts. And chili. And green.
Green gummy Dorse bags on a retail shelf

Gummy Dorses

Chewy little dorses in every color, as long as that color is green.

Do not feed to actual horses.
Dors-ee Dew poster Dors-ee Jerky poster Dorse Morsels poster Kettle cooked Dorse 'n Dorse chips Endless restroom poster Subprime brisket poster

Hey Kids! Read The Signs.

Please review all posted signage before approaching the statue. Dors-ee is a friend. Dors-ee is also watching.

Hey Kids sign: Dors-ee warns that selfies with the statue without a purchase constitute petty theft
Statue Selfie Policy
Hey Kids sign: Dors-ee in sunglasses with a Dors-ee Dew chemical warning
Dors-ee Dew Advisory